Since it has been a long time I haven’t posted anything and maybe in the coming few months I would be even more busy; desperately trying to submerge myself in the deep oceans of knowledge and endeavoring to uncover some of the mysteries posed by the subject of Economics and similar other big shot subjects, I have decided to spew some rubbish here for the benefit of the readers.
I don’t know how many of you have found the Evil Villain in books or movies making basic mistakes in their plans. In fact, now I can say that the efficiency level of evil villain might follow the Law of Variable Proportions. First it increases, then reaches constancy and then finally decreases to inevitable death.
As unfortunate this may seem, the logical reason would be that in relation to time, Our Villain’s complacency increases, and degree of complacency is directly proportional to more chances of reaching an untimely death in hands of the so-called hero, who devoid of the talent and skill is still a hit amongst the ladies.
Okay, so enough talk. What is necessary for any prospective Evil Villain is to devise an Evil plan which should be rock solid so that there are no loopholes. But as Murphy’s Law suggests, if anything can go wrong it will, care should be taken. So, it becomes necessary to create a back up plan, which can be used in emergency circumstances. This could be very useful in case of the idiotic, untalented, unskilled, underdog who in strange circumstances may be discovered as the son of the Evil Villain himself. That is also something, which needs to be looked into. Err, I mean no girlfriends for our Villain. That would sort of diminish the extreme evilness which is needed to be established thoroughly.
The Evil Villain has reasons for being an Evil Villain. He has solid reason for being Evil, and reasons are quite complex. In this sample of mine, the Evil Villain is just evil. His nature is necessarily evil and he likes to be evil. This is a complex psychological state of mind, which a layman would find difficult to understand.
Anyway, to begin our plan, first we need to traumatize the people of the world. This is essentially important; because only through trauma will they sit up and take notice. The arrival of the Evil Villain has to be dramatic, extraordinary and terrible. With titles like “The terrible one”, “Demon straight out of the hell” this should be easy. The public should be stunned by the “Sadistic fiend” whose “Intelligence has been harnessed to create what we know today as the Computer”
Next up, is the employment of some mad scientists who are unemployed. Together, they will devise what is called Death Ray. Death Ray is something very complex. Through extensive stealing of plutonium and other radioactive elements, the creation of Death Ray is possible. Whoever is exposed to this terrible ray will die instantaneous death, yes, something which you could never have imagined.
Needless to say, that such devastation from White House to World Trade Center would make all people to flock to the Evil Villain, begging to do his every bidding. His name would become synonymous with the Backstreet Boys. But, personally, the devastation unleashed by the Backstreet Boys was nothing compared to this small time Evil Villain of ours. Finally the Opening of the Seven Seas of the Armageddon Clock, would spell doom. And if by that time the underdog hero vows to save the world before bedtime, our Evil Villain would have to fight with him. Before that, it has to be made sure that the hero’s pet dog, monkey, lizard, elephant, hippopotamus, gorgonzola or whatever other cute animal that is capable of untying ropes, bringing keys is captured and killed. Then the Villain will throw a bottle of hazardous bottle of chemicals on the hero and he will be dead. So simple, why didn’t anyone else think about that before?
And once his power is secure, he will destroy any pesky time machines that might be at hand. And so the end is upon us.
If this entire plan is too complex for you there is another very simple one. Just enter a closet in your house and lock yourself in. And say “I have dominated the world and brought darkness”. Works all the time.
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